The 12 Worst Things To Happen to Music This Decade

Because of the demand for arbitrary lists at the end of the year, The Rolling Scone Blog has given in to blog pressure and prepared a list of the 12 lamest things to happen to music in the past decade.

In no real order...

12.) Self-Aggrandizing Music Blogs
One of the worst developments of the past decade is the proliferation of music blogs on the internet. Now everyone with a 56k modem and an Ipod is a "music expert," mucking up the internet with their opinions and insights, forgetting of course that literally, no one cares. Fortunately most of them die off quickly, as their creators eventually figure out that 6 of the 8 people that visit their sites each day are in fact themselves, checking on their own site meters.

11.) Popular Country Music
The homogenized, sterile world in which country music operates is a world much like the one that exists on the Disney Channel. There is no swearing, no overt sexuality, everyone looks really pretty, and no one ever has a problem that can't be solved by singing about tractors or trucks. Country music has its own magazines, its own award shows, its own producers. There is little interaction between the worlds of rock and country and the results are bland, uninspired music made by talented session musicians.

10.) Awards Shows
Quick! Name the last 4 winners of the coveted Grammy for Artist of the Year. No, the answer isn't U2, U2, U2, U2. Or is it? No one knows, that's the problem, and no one cares. There are plenty of other music awards shows to ignore, like The People's Choice Awards, the MTV Music Video Awards, The Billboard Awards. The only person who seems to care about these awards is Kanye West, who makes it a yearly event to bitch about being snubbed from something. The solution to this problem is to completely ignore it until it goes away.

9.) Pitchfork Becomes Important:
There are so many things wrong with Pitchfork that it's hard to chose just nine, much less only one. Pitchfork's ascension to the top of the indie taste making charts is based primarily on the fact that they are, in fact, assholes. Like an insolent 11 year old, Pitchfork has made its living by needlessly insulting the work of others, unless those "others" happen to make music that no one really wants to listen to. Pitchfork is equivalent to that annoying high school friend who only listened to bands that no one has ever heard of, thus insuring that they could scoff at anyone "still listening to Coheed and Cambria. By basically ignoring 95% of popular music, Pitchfork gives off the impression that they are cool, thus inspiring millions of gullible kids in tight jeans to mindlessly cling to their elitist opinions.

8.) The Continued Death of Rock N Roll
Rock may still be alive in neutered form, that is if you can call Trapt, Breaking Benjamin, and Three Days Grace "rock," but rock n roll has been dead since at last 1992. Guns N' Roses may still be around, but even them, rock n roll's last bastion of hope, now, sadly, sucks. Bands like Coheed and Cambria, Queens of the Stone Age, White Stripes, Ash, My Chemical Romance and the Foo Fighters continue to rock in various forms, but the bluesy take no prisoners rock n roll attitude of Zeppelin, GNR and AC/DC is long since gone.

7.) The Rise of Indie Rock
Indie rock, which towards the end of the decade finally supplanted emo as the "rock" genre of choice, is a way to inclusive genre that includes virtually every band in the world. The biggest problem with indie rock is that it just doesn't rock. There are plenty of good indie bands in the world, but as the leading flag bearer of the rock movement, they are woefully unprepared. The charts are completely dominated by rap and R&B leaving almost no space for rock. Indie rock, whose biggest bands are based almost exclusively on hype generated by Pitchfork and Rolling Stone, just can't drum up more than cursory interest.

6.) Rolling Stone's Lists
Jack White being #11 on Rolling Stone's top 100 guitarists. Edward Van Halen, who basically invented modern guitar playing is tucked up in the 70's. A blatant disregard for anything from the 70's and 80's has  
become Rolling Stone's MO. Metal doesn't even exist in the world of Rolling Stone, and that is painfully obvious by looking at their exclusive lists.

5.) Rolling Stone: The Magazine
This is the same magazine who gave Black Sabbath's Paranoid 1 star and trashed Led Zeppelin's early work. Their continued existence is one of the biggest mysteries of the music world. They continually miss the boat on new trends whilst suckling the teat of the old guard, passing out 5-star reviews to U2 and Mick Jagger's vastly uninspired work.


4.) All Music Sucks
Obviously all music doesn't suck. But really, music sucks these days. Lady Gaga is probably the most interesting artist of the past year. Radiohead now sucks. Outkast doesn't even exist in any real form. Coheed's last album was a disappointment. Ash isn't releasing any new albums and Stevie Ray Vaughn is still dead. Nickelback remains a viable musical entity. Creed reunited. Ke$ha has the #1 song in the world. Prince is a Mormon. The list could go on and on... but it won't.


3.) Led Zeppelin Reunited
Obviously this isn't a bad thing, in fact if that was the whole story it would be the greatest thing to happen to music since the electric guitar. Unfortunately the rest of the caption should read: Led Zeppelin Reunited... For One Show. God forbid they should embark on a world tour and let all their hundreds of millions of fans a chance to see them.


2.) Rolling Scone Remains Undiscovered
Somehow, despite the constant evidence to the contrary, Rolling Scone isn't the most popular blog on the internet. Despite millions and millions of incredible articles and opinions, our work remains as un-viewed as a Whoopi Goldberg porno. If there was a God then Pitchfork would be struck down and everyone would love Rolling Scone instead. Unfortunately that means that there is no God. Sorry to break the news.

1.) The Death of a Bunch of Good Musicians
Michael Jackson, Layne Staley, George Harrison, Rick James... just to name a few of the people that died. Although most of them were well past their musical primes and thus virtually useless, its still sad. Unless you hated their bands, or looked down on child molestation. Then it was a pretty good decade for everyone, except for fans of music.

A Brief Look Inside the Mind of J. Steigerwald: RollingScone Creator

Today's feature is a list of the last 66 songs played on Mr. Steigerwald's Ipod.

1. Girlfriend - Matthew Sweet
2. Shotgun Down the Avalanche - Shawn Colvin
3. What A Catch, Donnie - Fall Out Boy
4. Can We Still Be Friends - Todd Rundgren
5. Little Wing - Stevie Ray Vaughn
6. Casual Affair - Tonic
7. Hush - Deep Purple
8. Fire Island - Fountains of Wayne
9. Lit Up - Buckcherry
10. Dancing Through Sunday - AFI
11. Oh What a Night - Four Seasons
12. West Coast Smoker - Fall Out Boy
13. 20 Dollar Nose Bleed - Fall Out Boy
14. w.a.m.s - Fall Out Boy
15. Tiffany Blews - Fall Out Boy
16. 27 - Fall Out Boy
17. (Coffee's for Closers) - Fall Out Boy
18. The Shipped Gold Standard - Fall Out Boy
19. Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown - Fall Out Boy
20. America's Suitehearts - Fall Out Boy
21. She's My Winona - Fall Out Boy
22. I Don't Care - Fall Out Boy
23. Disloyal Order of Buffaloes - Fall Out Boy
24. Running On Empty - Jackson Browne
25. Monsters - Matchbook Romance
26. The Velorium Camper I: Faint of Heart - Coheed and Cambria
27. Bizzare Love Triangle - Stabbing Westward
28. Move Along - All American Rejects
29. Back in the USSR - Beatles
30. Raspberry Beret - Prince
31. Cancer - My Chemical Romance
32. Palace of Excess - Ash
33. Afterlife - Avenged Sevenfold
34. Rock You Hard - The Dan Band
35. Day Job - Gin Blossoms
36. Shake It - Metro Station
37. Together Forever - Rick Astley
38. Wanted Dead or Alive - Bon Jovi
39. Starcrossed - Ash
40. Crush - Jennifer Page
41. Lady Madonna - Beatles
42. Killer Queen - Sum 41
43. I Touch Myself - Divinyls
44. Pressure - Billy Joel
45. Stacy's Mom - Fountains of Wayne
46. American Girl - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
47. Chemistry - Semisonic
48. Better - Guns N Roses
49. The Big Medley - Dream Theater
50. The Door - Silverchair
51. I'm Not Okay (I Promise) - My Chemical Romance
52. Eternal Life - Jeff Buckley
53. Every Little Thing She Does is Magic - Police
54. My Favorite Things - Silverchair
55. Love Rears It's Ugly Head - Living Colour
56. Big Bang Baby - Stone Temple Pilots
57. Got Me Wrong - Alice in Chains
58. Winning Days - The Vines
59. You're My Best Friend - Queen
60. Shout it Out Loud - Kiss
61. Irish Blood, English Heart - Morrissey
62. Fields of Gold - Sting
63. Alien Angel - Three
64. Take it Off - The Donnas
65. Where to Now St. Peter - Elton John
66. On Fire -Van Halen