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Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Rolling Stone Stresses Fairness, Balance, Debate, Conversation in New Issue


Rolling Stone, one of the few bastions of integrity and fairness in the print world, has chosen to profile global warming and the environment in its latest issue. But instead of pointing fingers and name calling, Rolling Stone, as it does in all its features, promises a balanced panel of experts from both sides to debate this hot button issue. One which weighs as heavy as the mountains of snow that have fallen during this brutally cold global winter.

Global Warming. These two words have been weighing heavily on the minds of all Americans for years. Two years to be exact, since the non-profit Pew Foundation only started including it in its poll questions in 2007. In 2009's poll of America's concerns, global warming was listed as a "top priority" by a whopping 30% of respondents. In fact, global warming weighed so heavily on the minds of voters that it finished only behind the economy, jobs, terrorism,social security, education, energy, medicare, health care, deficit reduction, health insurance, helping the poor, crime, moral decline, military, tax cuts, environment, immigration, lobbyists, trade policy and Lady Gaga's penis.


Rolling Stone, seizing on the huge popularity of global warming, features two separate articles on the subject. The first is a massive overview of global warming named "As the World Burns." While at first glance this would seem like a rather inflammatory title that makes it sound like Rolling Stone is taking sides on the issue. However, the title is obviously just pointing out how incredibly hot the debate is right now. Because no one at Rolling Stone has any actual scientific background and since "As the World Burns" author Jeff Goodell has no real authority other than his opinion, Rolling Stone would never make such a claim for, or against Global Warming. Article author Jeff Goodell uses clear, calm, evenhanded language throughout and never whines, delves into histrionics, or write in an obviously out of character hip writing style in order to appeal to a certain demographic.

The second feature in the newest Rolling Stone is entitled "The Climate Killers." Another seemingly polarizing title, however Rolling Stone has made sure to let its subscribers know that this is actually a typo. The actual title of the piece was "The Climate Killers?"  The feature, written by noted editor and opinion writer Tim Dickinson. But don't worry, no opinions are inserted into this piece. In an effort to maintain neutrality for the article, both Democrats and Republicans are profiled in its list of 17 Climate Killers? Neither side is given any more or less time on any given subject, and the article makes no claim that global warming will destroy all of civilization unless carbon emissions are cut 75% in 10 years.

This type of balanced, civil debate is exactly what is needed for this "hot button" issue and leave it to Rolling Stone to make sure all the sides are heard. The new Rolling Stone is available on news stands now.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

RollingScone Interview: Kanye West

The RollingScone Interview: Kanye West
presented by the RNC and the New Orleans Tourism Board.

RollingScone: Hello and welcome back to the RS.com real interview. Today’s guest is multi-platinum recording artist Kanye West.

Kanye West: ShiiiTTttt SonnnNN, YouUuu CannNNN PriiNNttT whhatttEEVER you WaNNTT, I’MM KanNYee WeSSTtTTt, I DoNN’TT CarrEEE WhaTtT U SssAaayy, I MakkeEE MuussiiCCc ForRrR the MasSSSess, foRRr tHHee PeeeOppLLe. Goooooddd LiiiIIiiIIifffEE!

RollingScone: Uhm alright let’s talk about your latest album, 808’s and Heartbreak, now you really went a different direction with this album, gone are most of your boasts about being the greatest MC alive and instead you seem to get in touch with your emo side, explain how this all came about.

Kanye West: I’mmMmm a TrrUeEE ArTiSTt, I DoN’Ttt NeEeEeDdd YoUuu ComMmenntTinnggG onN WhatTt KinNNdd of SoNG I’mmMMm mmmAking-

RollingScone: Ok, can I stop you for just a second, what the hell is up with your voice. Is that the-

Kanye West: ThaaAAAttss the AuuutttOOO-TuuuuNNNeeeE, fooorrRRR the nEwW AAllbuM Iii WanTTTeddD to GggGGgOooOooOOOoooOOOoooOOOooooOOOOOoooooOoOOoooOooOooOoOoOoOOooooooooooooooooooooo0000000000000oooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooOOooooOOOOOOOOOOoOoooooooOOOOoooooOOoooOOOoooooOOOoOOoooOooOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooO O O OoooooooOOoo Inn a neWW dirrEcCtiOOnnn and ShOwOwoWoOW offFF my innncrEdible VoCCaLLL talleNNNTSSS. JessUUssSS Wallllkksss!

RollingScone: It’s incredibly distracting. I think you’re probably supposed to turn it off when-

Kanye West: biittTchh Iii’Mm Kanye WeSSttTTTT, I’m the GrrreAtttEsttTT RappErrr aliiiIIvvvEEee. attTTT the Enddd offff the DaYyyayyayyayayyyYY I Don’tTTt GiiivEee A F---KKKk if YouuU ThIiinKkk I’MmMM ArrOOoGAanNNtttT, YouUUu CanNNN PuTTTT aLllLL Thiss OnNN Hereeeee, You KOOnNNWw WhyyYYY? I MakKEee MussIIccc for THEeee PeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEople. FlaaaaSShiiNnggg LiiiigGGhhTTSS!

RollingScone: Ok why don’t you just get the hell-

Akon: Convict(Convict…convictconvict…) Akooonnnnnn. Convict (Convict… convictconvict) and Kaaannyyeee Westttt.

RollingScone: What in God’s name is this?

Kanye West: Ittt’sss thEEe MoothherrrrF----n reeeemixxxxXX, Chicaaagooooo raaaAIIIsee Upp!!! ThrroOuughHH the WiiiiIIreEEE.

Akon: Reeemixxxx, Convict (convict… convictconvict). Akonnnnnnn.

Kanye West: (clap) (clap) (clap) (clap) Yeah thatttTTsss Righttt, worrrLddSSS grEatesT MC. I canNN turn Shittt to GoldDdd. GeeOOrrGgeee BuuSShhh HAtteeessSS BlAaCkk peOpleee and BlaAcKKK PeppErRR and BlaAAckkboaARRddSS.

RollingScone: Thanks for nothing! Join us again for another thrilling edition of the Rollingscone Interview, brought to you by Fibersol, stay regular with Fibersol.
Next time we have - fresh from the grave - Barry White!