Sign 2. Plummeting album sales
Sign 3. Celebrating an 18th birthday
Sign 4. Drug arrest/Documented drug use
Sign 5. Unplanned pregnancy
Sign 6. Tearful appearance on Oprah
Sign 7. Rumors of a sex tape/sex tape settlement with jealous ex-lover
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| Not nude. For now. |
The latest celebrity to experience these signs is Miley Cyrus. Fresh off leaked picture messages of Miley in inappropriate poses and a disappointingly low selling album comes the fourth sign: Documented drug use. The latest scandal to engulf Miley is a video of her smoking Salvia out of a bong. While Salvia is technically legal, it is known for its hallucinogenic properties and is drawing the ire of parents groups and police.
Miley Cyrus, aka Hannah Montana has already begun to distance herself from her formerly kiddie "Disney" persona with various slutty performances and risque internet photos. Following the latest video of Miley smoking out of a bong, Billy Ray Cyrus, her awful, awful father has come out saying he's "sorry" and "sad" for his daughter's behavior. However he is unable to maintain any control over his daughter because she is the only reason he has a job or money, or a sex-life. However, those who follow the signs of the Nudepocalypse know that this sign, along with the third sign of a celebrated 18th birthday leaves Miley only 3 signs away from sweet, glorious (and now legal) nudity.
Experts say that Miley has the best chance yet of fulfilling the seven signs and take her clothes off to make money and/or revive her undoubtedly flagging career. While many experts also expected Britney Spears to pose for Playboy and "accidentally" release a sex tape, she was able to mount a somewhat successful comeback and delay the inevitable for another 5 years. At which point her body will be wrinkled, stretched to the point of Danielle Staub.
