Rihanna on GMA: "I'm ashamed of many things... especially my hairstyle."

Rihanna, appearing on Good Morning America with Diane Sawyer, spoke out on a variety of subjects including Chris Brown, her family and her newest hairstyle.

Frankly I'm ashamed of how I look right now," Rihanna said amongst tears. "I can't believe this network would allow me to go on a national show with a hairstyle that looks like Star Trek Deep Space 9's Bajoran militia officer Kira Neyrs."

Diane Sawyer, who conducted the interview which will air on both GMA and 20/20, tried to press Rihanna on her past altercations with ex-boyfriend Chris Brown. However, Rihanna was more intent on berating herself for her hair style. An excerpt of the interview follows.


Diane Sawyer: Now, Rihanna. Why did you stay with Chris [Brown] after he continuously beat you?

Rihanna: Diane, If I may I'd like to move away from that kind of subject matter and concentrate on something much more importan; my hairstyle. It's completely ridiculous. Honestly, I bet Justin [Timberlake, her new Boyfriend] is going to dump me as soon as he see's this.

Diane Sawyer: Ok, well I think we've discussed this enough, let's talk about your growing up in Barbados.

Rihanna: I'm just going to stop you right there Diane, I don't think anyone is going to care about the upbringing of a woman with a two-toned pompadour.

Diane Sawyer: Well...

Rihanna: I almost don't even blame Chris for beating me, maybe if he hit me a little bit harder I would have gained some common sense and hired a new hairdresser.

And Now For Something Completely Different...

Today on the RollingScone, an Editorial... from Satan!

Lucifer D. Satan here, (the D stands for Delightful!). Today I would like to talk to you, dear RollingScone readers, about something that has been bugging me lately: the lack of props that have been shown to me in recent years. Doesn't anyone remember the good ol' days when artists were selling their souls to me left and right just for the opportunity to write a killer rock song. Robert Johnson, Led Zeppelin, the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, The Monkee's; all wrote I.O.U's that their asses are gonna be cashin real soon. (Well except for the Stones, I gave them immortal life.) I used to get respect from the Blues community, they knew that I was the source of all their howlin' and pickin'. But today, nothing! You think Britney Spears sold out for all that "talent?" of course not, that's all Louisiana home cookin' right there. I mean I gave Axl Rose his soul back after the Use Your Illusion tour and look what happened, 13 damn years and all we got was Chinese Democracy? Good Lord! And don't think I haven't noticed all you heathens mocking me in your movies and TV shows.

First off, to Ralph "Karate Kid" Macchio, yeah you were great in Karate Kid, but there's no way you could handle what my shits bringin'. I could beat you with one hand tied behind my back, blindfolded while making out with Jamie Gertz. I love that one of my clients, Stevie Vai, played me in the movie, he's a real B.A. but c'mon! RALPH MACCHIO, and he didn't even have Pat Morita or that hot Shue girl to root him on. I definitely woulda put him in a body bag. Notice to Charlie Daniels, even if I did play the fiddle, which I don't 'cuz it's gay, I would still be able to kick your ass. Will Farrell and Garth Brooks, What The F!!!. You wanna compare songs? How bout Stairway to Heaven, Hey Jude, Sympathy for the Devil. I almost shit a brick when I saw that "skit." I'm the Devil, I think I know how to rock. And P.S. see you guys in about a week.

I don't even get my name in the liner notes anymore. At least Zeppelin gave me a shout out if you play Zeppelin IV backwards. And I'm pretty sure I made it into a few song lyrics back in the 70's. Chris Brown may be beating Rihanna in my name, but he sure ain't shoutin' my praises in his damn liner notes, or on Entertainment Tonight. Well whatever, I don't need any of your acknowledgements, I'll see you all soon anyway, when you're burning in hell!