Panicked Viewers Flood MTV With Reports of Unidentified Music Video Sighting

Panicked MTV (Music Television) viewers have begun flooding the network with reports of an actual music video sighting. Just minutes before the premiere of the new MTV (Music Television) show Jersey Shore, excited guidos everywhere were shocked to discover a snippet of Lady Gaga's Bad Romance video.

Older non-targeted demographics may remember a time when music videos were in regular rotation on all of the MTV (Music Television) networks. However nearly all female viewers in the 18-24 year range have never experienced an MTV (Music Television) music video.

Calls began pouring in to MTV (Music Television) headquarters in New York shortly before 10pm EST. Viewers reported seeing Lady Gaga dancing in a choreographed routine while singing Bad Romance. Many callers did not understand that these "music videos" are previously recorded and were outraged at not being notified that Lady Gaga was performing that night.

MTV (Music Television) immediately responded with a statement saying that the music video was a programming mistake and that it was shut off after only 25 seconds of airtime. MTV (Music Television) told Rolling Scone-ONLINE that the actual clip was supposed to be a promo for MTV's (Music Television) new prime time show, "Stereotyp'd," which will undoubtably set back race relations in America. The new show features different races acting exactly like their stereotypical selves, except on camera for all America to see.

Music Television appologized for the music video making it onto their airwaves and said that they would double their efforts to make sure that no music video ever aired again on Music Television.

My Chemical Romance Vocalist Vows to One-Up Pete Wentz and Shave Other Things On Stage

Blink-182 bassist Mark Hoppus and Fall Out Boy frontman had a special moment during their concert on Saturday night in New York City's Madison Square Garden. Wentz beckoned Hoppus to centerstage during the Fall Out Boy set and proceeded to shave Wentz's trademark hairstyle, a long, straight shage with sideswept, choppy bangs into a no-nonsense buzzcut.

Wentz's haircut signals the end of an emo era, but not everyone is going to let the emo swoosh die quietly. In particular, My Chemical Romance's Gerard Way, longtime style rival and frenemy of Wentz, plans to make a mockery of Wentz's style evolution.

Way wrote on his band's blog:

...petey wentz declares that the emo swoosh is dead and the press goes wild? hahahahahahaha. next time we play the garden, i'm gonna whip out my junk and have matt bellamy [lead singer of Muse] give me a full manscaping...

Matthew Bellamy could not be reached for comment.

Fall Out Boy Facebook Face-off Fallout!

BREAKING...

IN A FACEBOOK SHOWDOWN, THE "FALL OUT BOY IS THE WORST BAND EVER: 5,000,000 STRONG" GROUP HAS REACHED THE 5,000,000 MARK BEFORE THE "I <3 FALL OUT BOY, FIRST TO 5,000,000!" GROUP. THE FALL OUT BOY IS THE WORST BAND EVER GROUP REACHED THE 5,000,000 PLATEAU ON THE BACK OF ITS NEWEST MEMBER, JASON REIS. THE I <3 FALL OUT BOY GROUP HAD BEEN STUCK ON THE 4.8 MILLION MARK FOR THE PAST WEEK AS NEW MEMBERSHIP DROPPED TO -1.2% THIS PAST QUARTER. THIS NEWS HAS HIT THE IMPETUOUSLY CATCHY ROCK GROUP HARD AND REPORTS FROM GROUP LEADER PETE WENTZ-SIMPSON IS THAT THE BAND WILL DISSOLVE BY THE END OF THE MONTH.

Why I Like Fall Out Boy, Plus Bonus Folie a Deux Review!

Nobody likes Fall Out Boy, no band is currently the focus of more derision from the likes of uppity indie kids (including the ones i know). The leading music critics have been kinder to this super stardom seeking pop/rock band from Illinois. Giving their last album "Infinity on High" an average score of about 70 (METACRITIC combined score from multiple reviews). FOB's current album Follie a Deux has garnered even better scores including a coveted score of 'A' by the Onion (and you know the Onion doesn't F around). Unfortunately this critical respect does not translate into respect. Most of the hatred lands directly at the feet of Pete Wentz, who stands as the current face of emo/faux-punk that Fall Out Boy is lumped in with. This is probably due to the fact that he is an immense tool. One of the largest in the history of music. However, the music that FOB makes refuses to reach to Wentz's low standards. Patrick Stump, lead vocalist has one of the better, if not best, voice's in rock today. Stump's style is completely unique, although he obviously has cribbed notes from people like Phil Collins and Robert Plante. Stump has a great vocal range, dipping from sweet smokey highs to cavernous lows within a single musical phrase. Stump's love of hip hop and R&B is reflected in their music. On Infinity on High they went out and got uber-producer Babyface to produce a few of their songs. On Folie a Deux they lose Babyface but retain the slick R&B ambition.

The new album retains some of Wentz's usual too long, too clever song titles. Names like A Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On a Bad Bet and Disloyal Order of Water Buffalo's are a mouthful and too clever by half, but at least this time it eschews the ridiculous puns of previous albums, I'm like a Lawyer With the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off, anyone? Fortunately the music continues the strong growth that most bands would kill for. Most people probably don't realize that having a spectacular first album is NOT the norm for most bands, it takes time for all the elements to come together, especially for pop/punk bands who usually know 3-5 chords. Well the elements have finally coalesced into a musical juggernaut. Guitar, check. Rhythm section, check. Lyrics, check minus. Vocals, check plus.

Disloyal Order of Buffalo's starts out the album basically the same way Thriller started off Infinity on High, cept with no Jay-Z boast. Stump retains his brilliant phrasing and vocalistic tics, constantly trilling the last words of each phrase in a R&B'ish style that reminds one of another short white boy who loves R&B, Mr. Phil Collins. The best look at his ridiculous range is apparent on the Neptunes produced W.A.M.S. which groves appropriately with both white and black boy soul. Fall Out Boy's main competition My Chemical Romance went the concept album route with The Black Parade and opted to crank up the guitar heroics and pay tribute to old school rockers like Queen, T.Rex and Pink Floyd. On the other hand, FOB are routed much more firmly in hip-hop (cameos by Pharell and Lil' Wayne!) and new wave (Elvis Costello and Debbie Harry show up, briefly). Guitar solo's are not permitted and the guitars crunch in a fashion reminiscent of later day Green Day and Blink-182. The album may not quite reach the pinnacles that their brothers in arms in Green Day (American Idiot) and My Chemical Romance (Black Parade) reached, it is indisputably a very good album. The hooks start strong and end strong, every song on the album is packed tight full of 'em. I Don't Care has a simple riff that grabs hold, while Stump belts out the usual Wentz-ish lyrics. If you dont know what those are, here's a hint, woe-is-me I'm famous but I hate the spotlight. Fortunately Wentz also takes time to bash Bush, (20 Dollar Nose Bleed) and praise recreational drugs (also, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed). But the musical the wide range of musical styles that FOB take on are the real stars of the show. It's all bright and simple but all excellently crafted and so addictive, like heroin or Rock of Love.

Haters will continue missing out on one of the best up and coming band primarily because of Pete Wentz's insistance on being a media whore and because their first albums were pretty average with a few good singles. Too bad for them, for the rest of us (reviewers, me, teenage girls) we will continue to eat up the deliciousness that FOB serves. Remember, the Beatles didn't make very good records at first either, but once they hit their stride they were pretty good (disclaimer, FOB will never be the Beatles). To paraphrase Mr. Wentz, Fallout Boy doesn't care what you think, as long as it's about them. Haters Beware!

Folie A Deux: A-
Infinity on High: B
From Under The Cork Tree: B-