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Showing posts with label Twitter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Twitter. Show all posts

Monday, January 11, 2010

Soundgarden Reunion Sure to Dissapoint New, Alienate Old Fans

Yes, it's true. Soundgarden, one of the first and most venerable of the Seattle Grunge rock groups has gotten back together. The band, which consists of Chris Cornell, Kim Thayil, Ben Shepherd and Matt Cameron all attended a Pearl Jam show in Los Angeles and after Cornell briefly reuinted supergroup Temple of the Dog on stage, the four began talking about a full-fledged reunion.

On January 1st, a twitter message from front man Chris Cornell trumpeted the return of the band, which had split in 1997 after the release of the critically mixed Down on the Upside. Soon after Cornell's announcement a new website, Soundgardenworld appeared stating that "the 12 year break is over and school is back in session," and trumpeting that "the knights of the soundtable ride again!"

Unfortunately, as Alice in Chains, the Who, Kiss, Smashing Pumpkins and every other band that ever broke up and got back together and then released an album proved, the new Soundgarden is sure to disappoint everyone, whether it be grizzled grunge veteran, dusty classic rocker or young punk looking for something beyond the latest Breaking Benjamin release.

Although Soundgarden has the added benefit of having all of its original members. The fact that they are well past their twenties means that they are completely out of ideas and that their rock music will be doddering, out of date, and "good, but only comapred to Breaking Benjamin."

Countless fans have flooded online message boards with posts like:

"I can't believe they finally got back together!!!!! Too bad Cornell lost most of his pipes singing with Audioslave. I thought Kim Thayil was dead!"

"I can't wait to be moderately dissapointed by their undoubtably forthcoming album of brand new material!!!! It's gonna rock!!! But only cuz rock sucks now!! But it will be better than Breaking Benjamin1!!!"

"I bet the reunion tour will be moderately successful, sell at about 75% of capacity, but disappoint longtime fans while simultaneously not win any new ones!"

"At least they're not Breaking Benjamin!"


The band's whereabouts are currently unknown, but many suspect that they are already hard at work with their awkward comeback disc. Fans can't wait for the new disc to sell well below expectations and Billboard is already gearing up for it's new article explaining where the band went wrong with their new album and single, which will only hit #11 on the Modern Rock charts .

Sunday, September 27, 2009

A Month in the Twitter Life of Courtney Love aka Courtneylover 79

Just Sold Kurty's rights to activizon in xchange for about 10million. Soooooo glad I killed Kurt back in 94.going to blame this all on dave and novy and come off scott free as usual. I had some concrns bout the way kurt looked but i got to pick out all his clothes and supplied the fotos and shit. I know kurt hated having fun and anything lightharted but i think the 10 i got put those thoughts str8 to bed.Grhol and Novy are gonna be so pissed. lol..

8:23 PM Sept 1st from web


Just ordered my new bumpersticker formy Bentley... LOL. It says "I killed Kurt Cobain and All I Got Was This Lousy Bupersticker." Itz funny cuz it'll be on my bentley. lol. Dave Grhol can burn in hell.btw.

4:12 PM Sept 4th from web


played new guitar hero with Kurt n it. had kurt singing som Bon Jovi, who he hated, kind of ... what the word for it.. i dunno.. too much meth in me... fuck wheres the cat... more plastic surgey in the morning... getting a new vaj. cost about 500g's... just ate a whole cake.

11:49 PM Sept 7th from web


@everetttrue you can assrape dave he was always a bad seed and is stillriding the shit while i take bulletsif theres a hell hes going.im not.. invr once rode kurts cotails... unless you count how he wrote all my muzik for me. but i dontcount that.

1:01 AM Sept 9th from web

howcould people blame me for all this! I cnat believe ghrol sold out kurt. I cried for hours last night after i saw kurt performing a bonjovi song in the game. If kurt was alive.. he'd probably kill himself all over again if he saw his imgage singing a jovi song. hewasalwayssosensitiveandsweet. I shouldn't have killed him. :( :( :( :(

3:04 AM Sept 13th from web


withdrew my 10million, had it put into 1dollar bills and spread it around my bed. now i sleep on my bloodmoney. Kurt would be pissed.lol.

4:02 PM Sept 14th from web


bonjvoi twittered me asking what the big deal is about kurt singing hissongs in a videogame, told me we all need to get a sense of humor. I told him to ufck off. Bonjovi is the devil and his musix is total shite. noone whow wasnt a ufkcing unct louwd lte kurt sng taht shte.

5:23 AM Sept 16th from web


Stupid Kurt woke me up from my dream about everetttrue assraping Dave Grohl. Kicked Kurt outside fed him his catchow went back to sleep.Dave Ghrohl can burn in hell.

5:51 AM Sept 19th from web


guessimgoing to have to start protecting my tweets. people keep gettingthe wrong idea about me. fucking media, always smearingme.iget blamed for verything.

2:12 PM sept 23rd from web