Breaking News: Music Retailers to Create "Everything Except Country and Rap" Sections in Stores

In a surprising coordinated business strategy, hundreds of music retailers nationwide are changing their methods of sorting in-store inventory into musical genres, instead creating a large section called "Everything Except Country and Rap." Rap and country will be relegated to either one or two separate sections within the stores, but this has not been standardized.

A representative for Best Buy, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that the decision by the American Association of Large, Non-Independent Music Retailers (AALNIMR), an organization that works closely with the RIAA and the NRA came in response to changing consumer demands.

"Before, more people had defined tastes - they were into classic rock, or alternative, or new wave, or something else. Now, nearly 70% of our poll respondents seem to have gained an appreciation for all music, except for country and rap, obviously," the representative said at a press conference this morning. "It's clear that our business model should reflect the needs of the public, not outdated notions of genre and classification."

Many customers seem happy about the change. Rick Suleck, 19, was shopping for new music at Border's in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Suleck calls himself "a huge fan of everything except country and rap." Now, he says, "It will be a lot easier to find music I will definitely like. Before I had to wade through all sorts of genre discriminations that really don't matter. At the end of the day, it's all rock and roll, right?" Suleck then displayed the Devil Fingers (a common rock and roll related hand gesture that is a fist with the palm out, except with the index and pinkie fingers pointed straight up instead of curled).

Amanda Eberstein, who was shopping yesterday at Barnes and Noble in Modesto, California, was not as excited about the announcement. She expressed concerns that "everything except country and rap" was too broad a label, asking, "Do you think this section include genre crossover acts like the Beastie Boys and Ryan Adams?"

Trent MacCoy, Eberstein's boyfriend who was shopping with her, was also unclear about the true purpose of the new section. "Will this include everything that isn't country or rap? Even things that are non-musical in nature, such as housewares, or floral arrangements."

AALNIMR representatives were unwilling to comment on these and other questions posed by Rolling Scone reporters, saying that these details had not yet been decided, as the decision-making summit, taking place in Palm Springs, California, was ongoing.

Noticeably absent from negotiations are the thousands of independent music retailers around the United States, though changes to their inventory display methods seem unlikely to change anytime soon.

Doug Baker, co-owner of West Wind Books and Records in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, was unsurprised by the announcement. "The AALNIMR's decision is indicative of the current state of music listenership in this country, but definitely not indicative of the consumer base of my store and others like it."

"My customers know the differents between hi-fi and lo-fi, grunge and punk, rockabilly and psychobilly, glam and prog - they are more specific in their tastes, and want their store to recognize that."

Some artists are upset by the new genre classification. A group of country and rap artists calling themselves the Country-Rap Antidiscrimination Parnership (CRAP), are starting to put together a lawsuit to overturn the AALNIMR's decision.

Kanye West and Dolly Parton, the acting co-presidents of CRAP until the organization is officially formed, released a joint statement.

"SHIIIiiiiiiiitttttt SSSSSssson. We, the country-RAP Antidiscrimination Partnership, believe that the actions of the AALNIMR are unfairly biased against country and rap music [boob jiggle] . TTTTThhhhiiissssssssssS iiiiisssSSSSSSS BUUUUUULLLshiiiiit. WHHY IIISN'T eeeMOoOO orrrR eeeLectroniCA leFFtttt ouT???!!! How about free jazz, or classical [boob jiggle]? CRAP vooWS to PPPut aN eND to thiiiis."

Rolling Scone will be following this story closely and updating details as they become available. Don't forget to check Rolling Scone Online for the latest in music news, reviews, and terrible twos.