Yanni Signs New 6-Year Deal with Guantanamo Bay to Supply Music for Tortures

Yanni, best known for his turgid soft-orchestral elevator muzak has signed a new 6-year deal with Guantanamo Bay his agent reported yesterday. With the new contract Yanni will become the exclusive provider of torture music for the United States until 2015. Yanni will compose between twenty to thirty brand new songs that will be used by soldiers and prison officials at the US torture facility at Guantanamo Bay. The songs will be piped in to each prison cell between 11am and 3pm daily in order to soften up the Arab terror suspects. Additionally Yanni's music will be used during all water boarding sessions. Terms of the deal were not disclosed but most analysts put the number in the high seven digits.