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Tuesday, March 30, 2010

E! Continues to Make Viewers Long For the End of Western Civilization


Meet the family!... From Hell!

E! Entertainment channel, the same channel that brought America Keeping up the Kardashians and Kendra now gives America the 3rd and final sign of the apocalypse, Pretty Wild.

The show is a mix of things of scripted lines "a la the Hills," interspersed with the daily lives of a family so useless they get kicked out of their neighborhood in the second episode.

The family is led by former lingerie model Andrea Arlington. If the fact that she whores her barely-legal children out to modeling agencies isn't bad enough, she also home-schools her family with a curriculum based upon the multi-million selling piece of crap "The Secret." A book so lame that it could only be popular in Hollywood. It even makes Scientology seem like a rational well-thought out belief system.

Instead of learning things like, addition, spelling, history, or economics, her children get to make posters about "what things they admire about Angelina Jolie," (The answers: "her boobs, her body.") Speaking of her children, because they were raised by unfit parents, Tess Taylor and Alexis and Gabby Neiers all act like petulant spoiled bitches, which isn't surprising because that is exactly what they are. In the first episode Alexis is arrested for possibly being part of the "bling ring" -- a group of Hollywood teens who like to steal from celebrities. Tess is currently a Playboy Cyber-Girl, this inexplicably has not been mentioned in the show, which is odd since E! spent the last 5 years pimping out Hugh Hefner and his brothel of prostitutes. The third daughter, Gabby isn't quite legal yet, but one can only imagine that she will soon be embroiled in a sexting scandal.

Watching this show almost makes you long for America governed by Sharia, or at very least the end of Western Civilization. Hopefully no one will show it Osama Bin-Laden, he doesn't need anymore reasons to hate America.

Unfortunately this show is so utterly exploitative that it will probably be a huge hit for the network. Millions of impressionable and stupid teenage girls will lap it up and America will fall further and further behind Japan in education, thus accelerating our fall from world-power to a third-world nation. Pretty Wild, the one show in existence that can make America long for the civility and wit of Sunset Tan.

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