The end of Thanksgiving marks a special time in America: the official start of the holiday season. In celebrating the holidays, easy listening and oldie stations across America change formats from their regular fare to seasonal favorites, thus assuring that everyone in America will be depressed and suicidal well before the actual Christmas holiday arrives.
In Pittsburgh, stations like 94.5 3WS and 99.7 WISH, have been switched over to their holiday play lists since before Thanksgiving. Local resident and 3WS listener Marianne Stevens professed to enjoying the Christmas favorites for about thirty minutes.
"I was really excited to hear Mariah Carey sing 'All I Want For Christmas Is You.' But after they played Little Drummer Boy for the twelfth goddamn time in one day I was officially annoyed as shit."
Statistics show that in cities with two or more radio stations with Christmas programming, homicides rise a cheery 25% in December and suicides go up a jolly 50%.
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